Pick Up Lines
by Jude Morgenstern
Summary: Laxus and Cana are the class clowns, always bickering over something, but can a series of unfortunate events change their relationship for the better? read, review and enjoy! laxana, school au, smut in later chapters


a/n: originally this was going to be a three-shot but I think I'm going to have to aim for 5 chapters, chapter 3 particularly will be mainly smut (plot related smut! Plot related I say!) so if it's not your thing don't read. I've really wanted to write this for a long time and holidays are always the best time to get writing I'm really excited about this series and I hope you guys are too. This chapter is mainly for laughs but as it goes along there will be more deep stuff so read, review and enjoy.

Disclaimer: I don't own fairy tail

Loke stood grinning as the select group of girls all insisted on hugging him, their breasts pushing against his slim chest in what he described as 'heaven'. Cana glowered at him from her seat on the bus, sipping from her 'water' bottle. After a few moments when it was clear that Loke was literally the last person to get on the bus she stood, her mouth at the window.

"Hey Loke?!" she yelled, loud enough for everyone on and off the bus to hear perfectly well. "When are you gonna tell them gang bangers you got the clap?" she asked, grinning as the group took a unified step backwards. "Clap clap clap ladies, and I ain't talking about applause." She said, grinning wider as Loke blushed furiously, giving her the finger in the meantime. "Hurry up 'n' get your diseased arse on the bus before we friggin' leave without ya!" she hollered, taking a seat to the sound of whispers and giggles. Loke boarded the bus, giving the mob one last regretful glance but unfortunately for Loke his embarrassment was not yet complete in full as the entire bus full of students and smirking teachers burst into applause. Loke's cheeks turned a deeper shade of crimson as he trudged down the aisle until he reached Cana, sliding in next to her.

"Was that really necessary?" he snapped, pulling his iPod from his jacket pocket. Cana couldn't wipe the grin from her face as she committed the red of his cheeks to memory.

"You would of done the same." She replied, reaching for one of his earphones which he grudgingly surrendered.

"That doesn't mean I'm not going to get you back." He threatened as the bus came to life, but it was soon forgotten as she settled her head on his shoulder, mumbling an apology, closing her eyes as she breathed in the familiar scent of him. Cana quickly fell into a deep sleep, the early morning a time she usually spent in bed at the cost of missing classes. Her sleep was so deep that she completely missed the exchange between her best friends and the guy she regarded as her arch enemy, though at times the word didn't seem enough to show her loathing for the ridiculous, repulsive Laxus Dreyar.

"Hey Laxus?!" Loke called, turning back to make sure Cana didn't stir. His call had got the attention of Gray who turned to see why Loke of all people would want to talk to muscle head.

"What do you want, womanizer?" Laxus called from his place at the back of the bus, the nickname while an insult from many was a compliment from the blonde.

"Wanna trade seats with me?" he asked, imagining Cana's face when she woke next to the idiot.

"Loke, don't be a dick." Gray snapped, eyes wide in anticipation but none the less the swap was carried out, Loke gently shifting Cana onto Laxus' shoulder, the brunette stirring slightly but seemed more settled with Laxus than she had with Loke, snuggling into his shoulder. Loke grinned, ignoring the teachers insistence he find a seat and Gray's frown. But as he turned to take Laxus' seat at the back, a hand grasped his forearm, forcing him to turn back.

"When she wakes up and goes on a balls hunt I'll be sending her your way womanizer." He warned, offering one last chance to take it back but Loke was already too smug with the prospect of her impending realisation.

A short while later

Cana's consciousness slowly returned to her in the form of light against her eyelids, the familiar red and black delaying the realisation that the body she was curved around was not the familiar form of Loke. The first thing she noticed however was the lack of music, assuming the bud must have fallen out she reached up towards what she assumed must be chest where the lose bud would be hanging but instead found the hard imprint of chest muscles beneath thin material. Now lucid enough to recognise Loke's chest was definitely not that well defined in any sense of the word she retracted her hand. She opened her eyes to see Laxus grinning down at her, his lips dangerously close to hers, one wrong move and she'd end up kissing him by accident which she knew was exactly what he'd want. She daren't speak in case their lips brushed so instead she slowly pulled away, glaring at him all the while.

"Where the fuck is Loke?" she demanded, flushing deep red as she inspected that his hands weren't in any suspicious areas before deciding slapping him in such a closed in area was probably a bad idea, especially with so many witnesses. Laxus looked at her with mock hurt in his eyes, leaning towards her suggestively but she abandoned tact and kept him at bay with her bare hands.

"Loke needed to change seats with me but he didn't want to wake you so I let you sleep on my shoulder." He said, offering his trademark smirk. "I thought it rather generous considering how cruel you are to me," he said, sniffing dramatically but he didn't drop the smug look in his eye or the equally irritating smirk. "you should be thanking me!" he declared, but Cana knew the dreaded pick up line was coming. "You could start by coming to my room tonight," he suggested, but before he could continue she jabbed him painfully in the ribs with her elbow.

"The closest I'll be getting to your room is when I walk past it to wash your god damn cologne out of my hair." She snapped, his broad shoulders and muscular build leaving little room to shuffle away but she tried her best anyway.

"Come by my room tonight and you'll have my cologne on _all_ of your hair." He quipped, their usual banter extra irritating to Cana in this particular situation, more shaken than she would let on about her unexpected pillow. "I mean you've already slept with me," he said, as if stating the obvious. Cana smirked in return, her confidence returning.

"If this is how you treat any sheila who turns you down, I'd hate to see how you treat the ones stupid enough to go for a ride on old Laxy." She said, crossing her arms across her chest, but she couldn't achieve the same effect as Laxus so she added a little womanly charm, allowing her breasts to press dangerously against her thin buttoned up sleeveless blouse, the shirt a favourite of her fathers.

"I treat 'em just fine," he said in his defence, eyes glued to her chest.

"My eyes are up here sunshine." She said, smirk growing but it was soon cut back to size.

"I know," he said, nodding, "But I think your boobs need my attention more." He said, slowly reaching for her chest but he was easily swatted away. Cana sighed, the angry gust of breath only encouraging him. "See, I haven't even touched you yet and your sighing, doesn't it make you curious?" he asked, quirking an eyebrow. Cana scowled, wanting nothing more than to ignore the idiot and listen to music but Loke was god knows where and she didn't dare open the compartment above their head in case Laxus 'accidently' slipped and his whichever body part ended up anywhere near her.

"You know what, why don't you go back to your old seat and fulfil your curiosity with what's between Bixlow's legs?" She snapped, leaning against the window in an attempt to put extra space between her and the blonde buffoon.

"Teach said I can't move again and I find your legs way more interesting." He replied, eyes rolling over her long tanned legs and she wished she'd worn longer shorts. It was only just then she realised Gray was sitting directly in front of her and she took the opportunity to dig her knee into the back of his seat, the loud groan which erupted from his mouth was very satisfying.

"What the fuck, Cana?" he asked, though the guilty look in his eyes made it obvious he knew too well what exactly it was about.

"What the fuck yourself!" she snapped, ignoring Laxus trying to regain her attention with some ridiculous antics.

"Hey, I didn't do nothing." He said, slightly scared at the prospect that it was an angry Cana sitting behind him, with the prospect of no booze for the next four days and had just woken up beside her worst nightmare.

"Yeah you didn't do nothing!" she snapped, the double negative not helping the state of his back as she dug her knee into his spine once again.

"You can torture me with those knees anytime." Laxus leered making Cana pause in her ministrations.

"Don't tempt me." She threatened, remembering sweetly the expression on Laxus face last time he took it too far and was rewarded with a knee to the groin. "We don't want a repeat of the Easter party incident, now do we Laxy?"

"It was worth it if you keep calling me Laxy." He said, smirk turning into a grin. "You really know how to turn a guy on." He continued, raking his eyes once over her body to make his point.

"And don't you forget it!" she said, turning back to Gray.

"You two arseholes are dead meat when we get off this bus." She declared, giving Laxus a glare before giving one to Gray who looked genuinely worried for his life. It was then that Juvia could no longer contain her emotions as to Grays wrongful portrayal much to the disappointment of both Cana and Laxus.

"Don't hurt Gray Cana! He told Loke to stop but he wouldn't listen!" she blurted, staring wide eyed at Cana who paused for a moment, considering whether Juvia had made it up to protect him but decided against it.

"Fine, but Loke's a dead man." Cana conceded, her brunette hair covering her shoulders and resting at her hips.

"Let me do the honours?" Laxus asked, before explaining as her expression took on a quizzical air, eye brows raised as her battle smirk still played on her lips. "Anyone who hurts my beloved is my enemy!" he declared with a moronic flash of hands.

"Then would you do me a favour and castrate yourself?" she asked, for once liking the turn in their conversation.

"I would but that would be a crime against the world." He said sadly grabbing his crotch. "This here's the future of the human race." He said in an apologetic tone. Cana's nose wrinkled in disgust, if there was anything she hated it was men grabbing themselves in public.

"Careful Laxy, don't want to get too excited there- we don't need any more tents." She quipped, chuckling at her own joke, all the while thinking _God, when will the bloody bus ride be over?_

"Keep calling me Laxy an your right on the way to your own personal tent, the centre pole put up by me personally." He said, though somehow it sounded like a threat.

"Sorry Laxy, I'll have to turn down that offer," she said, feeling nervous as his eyes bore into hers. "but I'm sure your pole tending skills are excellent." She replied, his eyes narrowing in a way which Cana disliked to say the least. But before either of them had a chance to speak the bus came to a halt, their teacher standing with instructions on how they were to exit the bus. In what seemed like a moment they were out of the bus and Cana had Loke, literally by the balls as he begged for mercy.

"Now I want to hear it Loke, or lil' Loke will be a lot littler." She threatened, the teachers looking the other way as they were by now used to her cohorts antics.

"I promise I'm sorry and I'll never do it again!" Loke squealed as Gray looked on in pity, glad it wasn't him getting his balls squeezed into jelly. Cana usually would have smirked and let the matter drop but her encounter with the master tent builder had put her in a particularly foul mood. Giving his crotch one last painful squeeze she let her hand drop only to raise it once more, an accusing finger in Loke's pale face.

"You ever try anything like that ever again and you won't have to worry about contraception anymore." She threatened, waiting until he nodded in understanding, nervously swallowing. Cana gave him one last look before grasping her bag and turning back towards the group which had already started moving off towards the cabins which resembled tents to the point where the word 'cabin' seemed a little ridiculous.

Her angry footsteps scattered the gravel in infinite directions, the soil beneath the thin layer of rock imprinted with her thongs easily discernable outline. She followed the swarm of girls flowing into tents, watching as Lucy disappeared into what she assumed was their cabin monstrosity- so homey not even the swarms on insects could refuse a stay. Cana groaned in disappointment as she dropped her bag onto the dingy fold out bed she guessed was hers and promptly grabbed her cap from atop her bag before turning to take in the rest of her classmates. Lucy was fussing over levy as they applied zinc to each other, giggling slightly while glancing continuously at their respective watches.

"Hey I wasn't really listening before, so what's the game plan?" Cana asked, adjusting her cap as they both turned towards her. Lucy grinned widely, attending to her arms as Levy gave her signature beam. Lucy glanced to Levy, obviously waiting for the bluenette to explain as she awkwardly held her cap in her mouth. Levy gave Lucy an understanding glance before beginning, her glossed lips sparkling in the dimmed room.

"We have a couple of minutes do grab stuff or go to the bathroom then we have to meet up by the bus where the teachers will give us work and split us into pre-decided groups." Levy said, her cheeks colouring slightly at the thought. Cana fought the need to roll her eyes at Levy's nervousness around the black haired hobo but figured the prospect of pre-decided groups was enough to earn her dramatic eye jerk.

"I swear if I get stuck with Jellal or Nab again I'm going to kill something." Cana groaned, looking to her friends for sympathy. Unfortunately they were too preoccupied fidgeting with their short-shorts to notice. Cana wasn't jealous of the nervous fluttering in their stomachs as they peered out of the gaping flaps to spy the men on their minds. Cana merely sighed in frustration as she usually did and abandoned the tent to start heading towards the bus. She considered waiting for Loke but after their brief encounter upon arrival, she doubted he wanted to see her any time soon. However, unfortunately for Cana, the brief moment she hesitated was enough time for Laxus to fasten his attention to her retreating form. The first sign which alerted her to his unwanted attentions was an unpleasant pressure slung around her shoulders. The next sign came in the form of her irritated glare falling upon his smug smirk.

"Hey, sweetheart." He greeted, his laughing eyes enough to make hers narrow. She shrugged off his arm, gaining no pleasure from the way he prolonged the skin contact between them. He stared at her in mock heartbreak, clutching his overly muscular chest. "Why are you being so cold to me? It seems like only moments ago you were sleeping against me.." he said, tone wistful. Cana groaned, but her patience had been tested far too much already that morning and couldn't resist slapping him across the back of the head.

"Quit touching me you creep!" she snapped, storming away from him towards the bus, thankful he didn't pursue her any further. As if by luck Gray and Juvia were already standing huddled together in conversation, an oasis from that ridiculous guy. Sure, she wasn't the easiest person to be friends with but he was just on a whole new level. Why couldn't he have gone to a different school? Or lived in a different suburb? But no, he just had to be in every single one of her classes, with his obnoxious cronies and always playing his loud earphones a little too, just thinking about him made her irritated. Suddenly without realising it the rest of the populace of the camp had swarmed around her with the teachers appearing, the dreaded list with her name inscribed next to some other poor soul.

"Quiet!" called the new student teacher, no one really new her name and her voice was equally unimpressive. Mr Conbolt rolled his eyes at her attempt to reign in the unruly mob and cupped his hands around his mouth.

"Shut up idiots!" he bellowed, which soon brought everyone to a stand still. He grinned at her in victory but she merely gave him an exasperated stare and rather forcefully handed over the list which he smugly accepted. "Now listen up! I'm only saying this once!" he yelled over the crowd which was rather unnecessary but the grin told it was more for the woman now standing off to the side than the students. "We are using this camp as a way to familiarise you idiots with your new play- Much Ado About Nothing." He continued, glaring at the few stupid enough to groan at his announcement. "You have been split up into groups of two to five and assigned scenes which you will all perform you own adaption of on the last day." He waved arms around in an attempt to quiet the now uproar and within a few moment he once again had his students under control to bellow out one last statement "These group and scene assignments are non-negotiable, you get what you get!" he finished, turning towards his now crumpled piece of paper. Cana had a bad feeling in the pit of her stomach, she bumped her shoulder against Gray as her dread increased at an alarming rate. Gray could feel her tension but gave her a reassuring smile.

"It can't be that bad, plus it's only for a few days." Gray comforted before his attention was once again occupied by Juvia tugging on his arm. His words did little to soften the blow as Mr Conbolt began reading his list.

"Group one: Cana Alberona and Laxus Dreyar, come up the front and get your booklet!" he announced, whispers and giggles spreading through the cohort which was cut through by Laxus' indignant retort.

"Like hell!" he cried, storming to the front of the group. "Look old man, I'm not spending a week with the shrew just because you needed some kicks." He ground out, throwing the booklet thrust into his arms on the ground. Within moments Cana was beside him, equallydisenchanted with the concept.

"For once I agree with muscle brain here, this is a really really bad idea Sir." She insisted, "Surely there's someone we can switch with?" she half asked, half begged, her puppy dog eyes perfect after years of practice.

"One, Laxus wrong play- you won't be spending the week with the shrew but with Beatrice. Two, these groups were hand-picked for a reason and there's no way to get out of it. Plus you're getting on better already! I don't think I've ever heard you two idiots agree on something before." He said with a sarcastic grin, turning back to his list. No matter how hard the two of them glared he simply ignored them, calling out the next group which awkwardly shuffled forward around Cana and Laxus' fuming forms.

Eventually Cana sighed in defeat, picking up his notes from the ground and clutching his forearm tightly, pulling Laxus off to the side despite his protest to the contrary. Before he could begin to speak Cana pushed his belongings into his hands and turned to her own booklet.

"Seeing as it doesn't look like we have a choice, why don't we make this interesting?" she asked, though it was too difficult to muster an upbeat tone so she settled for challenging. While his distasteful frown never left his face, he raised an eyebrow at her proposal. "We have to perform on Friday, right?" she asked to get an annoyed nod in return. "So how about whoever gives the best performance wins?" she offered, a grin forming at the idea of the possible stakes.

"Win what?" he asked, becoming more interested by the second. Cana shrugged, the corner of her mouth tugging upwards.

"What do you want?" she asked, not sure if she would regret asking. He paused for a moment before coming to a concrete decision.

"I want the new season of FANATACISM special edition pack." Laxus said, waiting for apprehension but Cana's eyes widened in surprise, and excitement building about her.

"You like FANATACISM too? I thought I was the only one in this hole that knew about it!" she said, taking a step forward, forgetting for a few seconds who exactly she was talking to before taking several hasty steps back. Laxus grinned down at her crossing his arms across his barrel chest.

"Looks like we've got a deal then, loser shouts the winner." He said, smirking as he opened his booklet to avoid her determined stare. She had been slightly afraid he'd say something like go on a date just or the sake of using it over her, but she had forgotten what he was really like under all that ego, if only ego wasn't 99% of his personality. Cana chuckled as she watched the colour drain from Laxus' face over a few seconds before he scrunched up the booklet and threw it on the ground in a huff.

"What is it?" she snapped, irritated by his sudden rage which had now morphed into strained pacing. He paused long enough to bark at her

"Read the damned scene!" through clenched teeth. Cana rolled her eyes, flicking open to the first page, to her horror she recognised the scene from the film adaption they'd watched in class.

"Oh god, we are so fucked." She groaned, her tight grip tearing the pages. After a moment she took a deep breath to calm herself, she wanted nothing more than to storm over to that idiot of a teacher and demand a new scene at least as compensation but she knew the response would be the same. "But this doesn't really change anything, I'm going to make you get me the edition with the poster Otani aboard the Pendulum 7 with his army." She said with a mischievous grin, turning back to her script, the words quickly forcing her trade mark grin into a cold hard line.

Laxus scoffed, picking up his booklet, the message clear- challenge accepted.


End file.
